Good definitions

 

 

Doctor:


A person who kills

your ills by pills, and kills you with his

bills.





Cigarette:


A pinch of

tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one

end a fool on the other.





Compromise:


The art of dividing

a cake in such a way that everybody

believes he got the biggest piece.





Dictionary:


A place where

success comes before work.





Conference Room:


A place where

everybody talks, nobody listens and

everybody disagrees later on.





Classic:


A book which

people praise, but do not read.





Smile:


A curve that can

set a lot of things straight.





Office:


A place where you

can relax after your strenuous home life.





Yawn:


The only time

some married men ever get to open their

mouth.





Etc.:


A sign to make

others believe that you know more than

you actually do.





Committee:


Individuals who

can do nothing individually and sit to

decide that nothing can be done together.





Lecture:


An art of

transferring information from the notes of

the Lecturer to the notes of the students

withoutpassing through "the minds of either"



Conference:


The confusion of

one man multiplied by the number

present.





Experience:


The name men

give to their mistakes.





Atom Bomb:


An invention to

end all inventions.





Diplomat:


A person who tells

you to go to hell in such a way that you

actually look forward to the trip.





Opportunist:


A person who

starts taking bath if he accidentally falls

into a river.





Optimist:


A person who

while falling from Eiffel tower says in

midway "See I am not injured yet."





Divorce:


Future tense of

marriage.





Miser:


A person who

lives poor so that he can die rich.





Father:


A banker provided

by nature.





Criminal:


A guy no different

from the rest....except that he got caught.





Boss:


Someone who is

early when you are late and late when you

are early.





Politician:


One who shakes

your hand before elections and your

confidence after.